Suffering and Loss

Some very good friends of mine are at an animal clinic right now with their precious dog who is about to meet His Maker. 

I'm sure that the decision they have made to lay their loved one down was not an easy one.  They made the decision based on their love for him and the fact that he was in so much pain and that he was suffering every day.

It has sparked various conversations with my 4 year old who had the chance to visit and play with Jack yesterday on his last full day here on earth.  Ethan understands that Jack is sick and does not feel very good and therefore will be going to "doggie heaven" today.  Another friend of mine recently had to do the same thing for her beloved dog, Duke, and Ethan takes comfort in knowing that Duke and Jack get to meet each other in heaven and will no longer be sick. 

I have to admit, I was wary of Ethan absorbing this much knowledge of death, sickness and heaven at such a young age.  But after praying with Ethan last night we were talking about his stuffed dog Sammy and how he is a pretend dog and that he can keep Sammy as long as he wants to and until he decides to no longer have him.  All of a sudden tears sprang up in his eyes and started streaming down his face.  Jimm and I were alarmed and my first thought was "I never should have let him know about Jack".  But as we started talking to Ethan he told us he was sad because he "never wanted to let Sammy go".  He "wanted him to be with him forever and ever". 

My 4 year old gets it.  He gets being attached, loving someone (or something like Sammy, bless his heart!), and what it would feel like to lose someone.  We assured him that he could keep Sammy as long as he wanted to, but that was why we encouraged him to leave Sammy at home so we didn't lose him or leave him somewhere (which has happened a few times, but by the grace of God he has always found his way home to us!).  He went to bed with dry eyes after comforting words from mommy and daddy.

I went into the kitchen and all of a sudden I realized that Ethan is 4 years old and that my little cousin Lucy was 5 when her daddy died from a heart attack.  Holy Crap!  Ethan is almost the same age as she was when her daddy went to heaven.  And I started crying knowing how attached Ethan is to so many people in his life and how much that would impact him.  He is very close to both of his great grandma's and sees them on a regular basis.  But they are getting up there in age and now I am dreading the day that we lose either one of them.  Or our parents.  And it doesn't have to be someone who is older, anything could happen to anyone...anytime. 

Not only did this impact me in regards to my own family and our losses, but of course.....hello I'm a social worker.....I started thinking about the kids that I work with and counsel.  The children who are adopted at age 3, 4, 5 and even older.  If my little boy at age 4 understands and can emotionally tap into the grief of losing a loved one, what have some of these other kids gone through?  Wow.

And this has also got my brain spinning about euthanasia as well.......but that's going to have to be another post for another day.  I can only handle so much processing at once :-)

And after that depressing post, I need to go call my mom to see how my kiddos are doing. :-)