Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Happy Holidays!

I recently read a blog post by someone that explored the whole "Happy Holidays" versus "Merry Christmas" war; you know, don't take "Christ" out of "Christmas" and keep saying Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays.

I really liked what she had to say and I wanted to jot down my feelings on it too. 

I believe that the saying "Happy Holidays" originated not to eliminate or get rid of Christmas, but to combine Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Eve ....Happy Holidays (more than one and all inclusive if you will).  And also to be sensitive to those of the Jewish faith who don't celebrate Christmas (amongst other faiths).  It was not to take Christ out of Christmas, merely another alternative saying to celebrate the holiday season no matter what faith you were (or were not). 

I think if we get too hung up on this, we will continue to alienate those non-Christians who already think that ALL Christians are wacky, right-wing, judgemental, intolerant, stingy and non-compassionate people. 

Instead, maybe just go with the flow and if someone says "Happy Holidays" to you, take it for what it is: a stranger, friend or acquaintance being NICE.  Don't go into some long diatribe about how you only say Merry Christmas because you believe that Christmas is Jesus' birthday (which really isn't even December 25th, but I won't go into that part of the argument....) and that you don't want to take the Christ out of Christmas.  Because then what did you do?  Make the person feel like an idiot for trying to be NICE and wish you happiness?

I also don't think there's anything wrong with trying to be sensitive to the fact that not everyone celebrates certain holidays.  I know some Christian faith denominations that do not celebrate Christmas, Easter, birthdays, etc.  And I've heard the reasons and arguments behind this and think that there is definitely some relevance to be considered. 

What is it saying about Christians if we are the ones who get stuck on saying Merry Christmas and show inflexibility and intolerance for those who might choose to say Happy Holidays instead?

And really, aren't MOST of the traditions on Christmas purely exaggerated American traditions instead of actual Christian rituals? Christmas trees? Santa? Presents? Ok, the wise men brought Jesus presents but do you think that God really wants us to go into debt on Christmas so that we can make our kids happy?

I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to be sensitive or *gasp* politically correct.  It's not just about the language or whether Christmas is really Jesus' birthday.  But this holiday season can also be a sensitive time for many if they don't have family to celebrate with, or if they are single and wish they were in a relationship, or if a loved one died around this time of year and it brings back very difficult memories. 

Maybe we can just be NICE and say "Happy Holidays" back to someone when they say it to us instead of getting upset that they took the Christ out of our Christmas.  Because honestly....you're the only one that can do that for yourself. 

Happy Holidays People!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Being Grateful Admist the Busy-ness

As you can tell the ramblings become more sporadic for this working mom as the busy-ness ensues.  I usually do my blogging on my "down time" at work and well, I haven't really had that lately.

And even now, at this current moment I am blogging only because I am avoiding working on our training submissions to the lovely Department of Children and Family Services for approval.  The more mundane and boring part of my job.

But overall, I couldn't be happier at my job.  The past few months have been a whirlwind of trainings and workshops.  But all were highly successful and we are slowly but surely getting our name out there as a force to be reckoned with in the post adoption world.  Come here for services and you will get an earful.  Just ask my friends who are currently going through the process :-)

Oh, and I got interviewed by a local newspaper about adoption.  My words were not quoted exactly as I said them.  I wouldn't normally say "putting your child up for adoption"; I actually said "placing your child for adoption" but I'm not going to hung up on the language when our message got out there and our services were advertised. http://www.mysuburbanlife.com/lemont/features/x1821248175/Lemont-couple-teaches-early-on-there-s-no-shame-in-adoption

But besides work, us Shepard's are keeping busy.  We are moving forward with applying for loans and working on obtaining a real estate agent so that we can "move our cheese" in the near future.  We still don't know exactly where we will be moving to, but it will be west and north of where we are now.  We just need some more SPACE!

Ethan received his first trophy for his participation in soccer.  He was beyond ecstatic.  He told me that he got the trophy for "his first kick".  So cute.

Reese is now 16 months old and is off the charts height-wise.  I was at the library recently and asked another mother how old her son was and he was two months older than Reese but a good inch shorter than her :-) She is also talking up a storm.  And perfecting tantrums.

We battled through 2 rounds of the flu at our house and now Jimm is on to a sore throat and cough.  It's been awesome.  Ha.

We're excited about some upcoming school and church holiday activities!  Ethan will be on the wise men in the church play along with his best friend Graham.  Reese will be singing "Away in a Manger".  Can't wait to see if they actually get up on stage!  Ethan's school will also be doing a little production and the 4 year olds usually have bigger parts.  Not sure if Ethan has any speaking parts yet, but I'm not holding my breath.  I can certainly see that my girl will be the ham in the family and not my son :-)

We are also going on the Polar Express train ride in a few weeks.  We tried to get tickets last year and they were sold out so this year I got them several months in advance.  Polar Express or "Magic Train" as Ethan calls the movie is one of his favorites.  He will watch it at any time during the year, so I'm very excited to see his face when we do this!

I'm NOT looking forward to putting up a tree this year.  My nosy, curious 16 month old is squashing my excitement about this.  Trying to figure out the best way to deal with the hands-i-ness of my little stinker.

With Thanksgiving creeping up....as in tomorrow....I am aware of so many things in my life to be grateful for:

My husband who is also a wonderful father.

My incredibly cute, talented and gifted children.

Our families who continually amaze me in regards to their generosity with our kids, especially my mother for watching them 3 days a week.

The close and incredibly fun friendships that we have developed through our church.  And the crazy connections that we have made through those friendships.  God works in amazing ways.

Our friend Hannah who watches our kids the other 2 days a week while we both work full time.  The kids feel completely comfortable with her and we've got a pretty nice routine down now.  Of course now she's going to go and mess it up by wanting to adopt a baby soon :-) 

The amazing friendship that we have developed with Danny and Andrea (and they also want to adopt a baby!), who also happen to be the parents of Ethan's best friend, Graham.  We also happen to live next door to her grandpa, down the street from her parents, around the corner from her brothers and a few of her aunts.  We like to keep things all in the family, ya know.

My husband's business has really taken off this year (now called Fidei Group, Inc.) and we are fortunate that his business partners are good friends of ours and I am also proud to call their wives my good friends!

A church that not only embraces Jesus, Home and Others First, but also reaches out to the community and the world by taking up intiatives such as providing clean water for those that don't have it and assisting Abolition International in the fight against Human Trafficking. 

Friends who put up with my liberal political views even though they may not agree with my opinions.

The incredible freedom that I have by being a U.S. citizen and the men and women who make that happen.

My health. Knocking on wood, I will be cancer free in June of 2012 for 5 YEARS!

The health of my friends and family.  I will never take that for granted after battling cancer.  Never. 

My awesome job and the people I work with.

And they already made it on the list....but I have to say again how thankful I am to be a mama to 2 of the most adorable, fun, crazy kids ever.  My love for them just gets stronger with every minute of every day.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Dear Glee;

I decided that I would not jump on the bandwagon of signing a petition regarding your recent adoption storyline until we could see where things were going. 

Ending the last show with Quinn declaring that she was going to "get her baby back. full custody" left me with my typical "really" feeling that I often have when shows and movies try to depict an adoption story line.  But again, I decided I would give it a chance.

And then we had this week's episode.  In which you made Quinn look like an idiot birthmother.  Hiding hot sauce, baby sacrificing books and other paraphenalia around the house that was supposed to make the adoptive mother (who...by the way...is also Rachel's birthmother....but that's another story) look "unfit".  Puh-lease.

But perhaps my favorite line was when Quinn told Puck (the birthfather) that she called child protective services and "they were backed up but they should have the baby back in a couple of weeks".  WHA?????

What does that even mean? There are so many things wrong with that statement I don't even know where to begin!  Why would child protective services take a call from a high schooler and just take her word that the adoptive mother is unfit? And even if they were going to do an investigation and find her unfit, why in the world would they place the baby back with the birthmother when she VOLUNTARILY relinquished her rights.  ARRRRGGGGHHHH.

They COULD have done so much more with this on a real, in depth level.  They could have explored how difficult it is to place your baby for adoption and the heartache, grief and regret that one might feel after they have made that choice.  I would have been fine with that.  Because it's absolutely true. 

And then the kicker at the end of the show.  The birthfather and the adoptive mother kissing....hooking up, evidently because of the shared emotions that they are experiencing regarding the baby.  HELLO.  That makes sense. She's a teacher at the high school and he is a high school student...senior...so maybe he is 18, maybe not.  So...of course I can only imagine where this is going.  She is having an inappropriate relationship with a student, will be charged and then will be declared "unfit".  Then somehow the baby will miraculously be returned to the birthmother.  And everyone lives happily ever after.

SIGH.

I just wish for once, just once that a TV show could depict adoption with the truth and dispell myths and stereotypes.

Some movies have done an ok job.

As much as I love Modern Family, it is pretty unlikely that a gay couple could have adopted from another country.  Here in the U.S., yes.  But not from Vietnam.  They might have been able to adopt as a single parent and then do a second parent adoption....but otherwise no.

Glee, I used to love you.  But I have a feeling a break-up might be in our future. 

It's you, not me.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Moving Our Cheese

I was reminded this week of the famous book "Who Moved My Cheese?" when our office switched email server providers.

People are afraid of change.  Especially those that have been operating the same way for past 20 years.

Panic set in: What if I lose my contacts? What if I can't retrieve something? What if? What if?

Change is difficult.  I don't dispute that. At. All.  But if we remain stagnant and unwilling to change or be flexible what does that say about us?

To me, it shows a mistrust in God.  Somehow we don't think that He is going to get us through this next change.  Granted, changing email providers seems like a pretty small change but the changes I'm now referring to can be much bigger and many times more anxiety provoking.

Like actually moving.  To a new home.  We know that we want to move to a bigger home.  We have outgrown our little 2 bedroom townhome and definitely need something that fits our family of four. 

Ethan and Reese shouldn't have to share a room much longer and I actually wouldn't feel comfortable with them sharing a room past a certain age anyway.  I feel that boys and girls have different things going on at different ages and I just don't want to go there....

I LONG for a bigger kitchen.  When I have to dismantle my dish drying rack, move the toaster and the coffee maker to make room for my crock-pot it's time to move. 

I LONG for a garage where I can park my car in the winter time and not have to worry about getting the huge pile of snow off of it only to discover a thick layer of ice underneath that takes 20 minutes to scrape off even with the defroster on full blast.

I LONG for a backyard and front yard to call our own.  Not a patch of grass a few feet wide and long that takes about 5 minutes to mow yet still somehow can be called a "yard".  Whatever.

I LONG for a room in which we can label "the playroom", where toys are actually stored and kids actually are playing in it instead of the "playroom" being our living room where we all sit, watch TV, eat, play with toys, watch Phineas and Ferb and entertain guests.

So I am ready to move our cheese.  It's time.  We are starting the process of figuring out financing, looking closely at numbers, saving, re-budgeting after paying off debt and spending more than we should be spending because we were just so happy to be done with our debt payments, looking at houses, finding a realtor.....and the list goes on. 

We are ready to move our cheese. :-)

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Firsts

When you have two toddlers your life is filled with "firsts". 

Reese ate her first (whole) apple this weekend after we visited the pumpkin patch/apple orchard.  She saw her brother eating one and insisted that she take a bite.  So I let her and next thing I knew she was gnawing away and making the cutest sounds as she ate her first apple.


Ethan has picked many pumpkins from the pumpkin patch, but we usually just set them around as decorations.  This year, though, we thought Ethan was old enough to help Daddy carve a pumpkin.  He was a little upset that his pumpkin face was "happy" and not "scary" like he requested.  Sorry little dude you have a social worker for a mommy, not an artist. 
Reese got her toenails painted by one of our babysitters one evening when we out to dinner.  She said that she sat really still for her and just kept looking down at her feet.  This was my handy work above at a later date.  She really did sit still and just kept watching what I was doing. 


Ethan enjoyed his first season of soccer...er maybe his only season of soccer?  We don't think that he's Beckham material, let's put it that way.  He was more interested in picking grass and making faces with the other kids.  But he did get some exercise, played with the other kids, listened intently to his coaches and learned how to dribble the ball pretty well. 

Reese is saying tons of first words.  Her vocabulary is expanding every single day.  Her understanding of every day conversation is also huge.  She thrives on routine and "tells" us what we need to do each morning.  She is also a major pain in the butt. :-)  She gets into everything she's not supposed to.  As soon as I walk into the kitchen, she hops up on the couch and grabs my phone and the TV remote...the two things she's not supposed to touch.  SIGH.  And then when I come back in the room she just grins and laughs.  Oh, it's gonna be a long road ahead with her.  I do think that potty training might be in our near future.  She does not like to have a dirty diaper and will "tell" me when she's pooped and point me in the direction of the diapers.

Ethan and I were able to spend some time together on Friday during his parent's day at school.  It was great to see that the other kids really seem to like him and he seems to be the kid that everyone gets along with.  He doesn't cause fights/controversy and if it's around him he just walks away and finds something else to do.  He is friendly but will also do his own thing if he wants to.  He knew all of the songs that they sang, but didn't raise his hand to answer questions.  He would be taking after his quiet mother on that one.  And you think I'm kidding, but I'm not.  When I was young, I was painfully shy.  Go ahead...laugh.  Those of you that have only known me in my adult life just can't picture it...because now I don't keep my mouth shut and I'm highly opinionated.  But anyone who knew me in grade school can attest to this fact.

So, lots of firsts in the Shepard household. 

What firsts are you experiencing?

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

This Time of Year


This is the time of year that I love living in Chicago.

I love the absolute brilliance of green leaves turning into majestic reds, yellows, oranges and tints of purple.

I love pumpkin spice lattes.

I love being able to take a walk outside with my kids and wrap them in hoodies and know that they are warm.

I love hearing the crunch of leaves underfoot as I walk down the sidewalk.

I love the briskness of the air outside.  No humidity.  No face-freezing, booger-hardening-in-the nose wind chill (now that was a picture painted with words, wasn't it?).

I love going on our annual trip to the Apple Orchard/Pumpkin Patch and snatching a few dozen of those mouth-watering cinnamon donuts from County Line Orchard.

I love anticipating the joy and elation on my kids faces as they open up their new costumes in the mail.

I can't wait to see Reese take her first steps into the mini-corn maize and petting zoo and hear her cute little squeal of a laugh as she rides the Moo-Choo train for the first time!

I am praying and hoping that my pick for taking our family fall photos on Friday will work out with the sun shining through the beautiful trees and that the kids will be up for tossing a few leaves into the air while our friend snaps pics of their cute little faces!

I am excited to see Ethan and Reese go door to door literally coloring the neighborhood in their Crayola crayon costumes :-)

I can't wait to have Jimm help Ethan carve his first pumpkin (yes, honey I think it's the year to try!).  And dread trying to figure out how to keep Reese a good distance away so that she doesn't have pumpkin guts in her hair.

I love curling up on the couch with a hot cup of coffee and a good book.....oh, wait that was my life before kids. 

I love the thought of raking up the leaves into big piles only to have my two rambunctious kiddos jump in them with all their might and scatter them all over again. 

Oh, yes I love this time of year.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Politics Revisited: Again (Sigh)

So, I posted this on my Facebook profile a few days ago.  I thought it was funny and I also thought that it spoke to how I feel about people continually blaming Obama for our country's current economic crisis. 

I'm sure that Bush is not to blame entirely for everything that occurred during his time as our President nor do I feel that Obama is.  I know that both President's have made some good decisions and some not so good decisions during their time in office. 

This was not meant to be a slam on Bush's character, his Christianity, his family, his children, his children's children, his home, or just plain who he is as a person. 

It was meant to draw attention to the fact that EVERYONE and their sister and brother seem to be intent on blaming Obama for not correcting the economy since taking office when the economy was already in crisis before he even got there. 

It was meant to call out some of those so called Christians and some extreme conservatives who continue to post negative comments about Obama and how this is all his fault.  How we who voted for "Obama to show we weren't racist should vote against him to show we aren't idiots now".  This phrase was posted on facebook by many Christians by the way. That's not at all why I voted for him, but if you want to believe that's the only reason go right ahead. 

So now you know why I posted that.  And you didn't even ask, did you? :-)

Well neither did someone who I used to attend church with.  I got an email from someone with whom I haven't spoken to in well over a year or more voicing their disappointment in me for posting something like that.  And here's the kicker....they thought that it was "a cheap shot and as a Christ follower I thought you would be above something like that". 

What does me being a Christ-follower have to do with the above picture?  Yes, I am a Christian.  I love Jesus with all my heart.  Which is why I posted the picture because I feel that Obama is receiving a lot of negative comments & is getting blamed for circumstances and situations that were already in place when he took office 3 years ago......when Bush was president.  And I don't think THAT is very Christian-like.

Is the language nice? Not necessarily.  Do I think that Bush "screwed us all" literally?  No. 

IT's A JOKE. I laughed when I saw it.  And evidently so did many of you and a few commented on it (and GASP they were from my old church....Christians!!!).  A funny picture to get a point across.  Republican's are dead set on blaming Obama for everything that is happening in our country now.  Guess what?  He's done some incredibly good things and made some awesome decisions since being in office as well (at least in my humble opinion).

The main issue that I had with receiving an email from this person was that I felt like I was being scolded and looked down upon.  I am a 38 year old woman that has developed my opinions over time and they are just that...opinions.  You don't have to agree, you don't have to see eye to eye with me.  I am friends with liberals, independents and many republicans.  We may argue or have "lively discussions" about politics, race, religion, money, health...you name it. 

But never do I say to my friends "I'm disappointed in you" or "shame on you" for thinking that way or "I thought as a Christ follower you were above that". 

You know why?  Because that insinuates that I am BETTER than you.  You are wrong, I am right.  And when it comes down to it, these are our opinions and we have formed them over time because of our circumstances and situations we have come across during our lifetime.

I just want people to respect the fact that just because I am a Christian does not mean I am a Republican.  If I choose to post something on my Facebook profile page that you do not agree with, you can tell me...it's fine.  We have differing opinions.  But please do not "scold me" or say that you are "disappointed in me".  Because honestly it doesn't make me step back and say...hmmmm, maybe I should think about that more.  It just makes me upset and adds fuel to the fire in my little-democratic-social welfare-loving-bleeding heart.

Instead, if you would like to ask me why I feel the way that I do, or maybe explain to me (without first belittling me) why you feel the way that you do in a nice & respectful manner, we may learn something from one another. 

Side Note: Just because I vote Democratic does not necessarily mean that I agree with EVERY policy or stance that this party takes.  It purely means that I have a strong preference toward this party. 

And I think it stinks that I feel I have to clarify that.

That is all.