"Objects in Mirror are Closer Than They Appear"

Sometimes we get too comfortable.  Life is chugging right along.  We go through the daily routines. 

And then seemingly out of nowhere our lives are slammed by a force that we just didn't see coming.  Our blinders were on and the force slipped in through our "blindspot".  That object was there, it was just much closer than it initially appeared.  We thought it was a mile back, but it was actually right next to us...waiting.

As someone who was raised in the Christian faith, I am well aware that there are spiritual forces at work in our lives on a daily basis.  It's just that if things are going well in my life I get lax in remembering to bind that dark and evil force that likes to hit when we're walking around with a smile on our face acting like we're invincible and infallible.

It's a how a practical joke works best: You wait until someone is unprepared and relaxed and then you hit 'em from behind with a huge picture of ice water over the top of their head.  Everyone else laughs at your expense while you sit there shivering cold, drenched, embarrassed, alone, adrenaline pumping.  After a few minutes you may be able to calm down enough to catch your breath and laugh with the rest of your friends about how stupid you were to have let yourself relax that much around a bunch of punks. 

But sometimes we can't recover.  When that evil force hits us so hard and so unexpectedly we just can't deal.

We allow ourselves to sit in the evil and let it fester.  We toy around with the idea of the evil and convince ourselves that it's right.  It's good.  It's "meant to be".  We know that if it were happening to someone else, we would look at them and know that they were allowing evil in.  But the blinders are on and the wall is up.

And Satan is having fun.  He loves watching the domino effect take place within our lives.  He loves watching how many people he can throw into a turmoil of doubt, confusion, judgement and pain.  He loves watching us humans make mistakes.  And then when you're down he becomes full of pride as he keeps throwing temptation grenades all around us.  They're hard to avoid and we can't always move around them fast enough.

But his mistake is that he keeps forgetting we have HIM on our side.  As he tries to destroy us, HE is nudging us.  HE is whispering in our ears as the blasts go off nearby.  HE is sending private army's full of HIS people who are stronger than anything Satan can fathom.  HE has an endless supply of weapons that are being handed out as this post is being written. 

You want a battle little guy?  You got it.  It's been awhile, but I'm up for it.  As are many others.

And so it begins.

Writer's Block Randomness

I have started and stopped writing 5 different posts over the past week.

And I was on a roll with this random one when I hit something on the keyboard that wiped out everything I just typed.

Maybe I should take the hint and just not write anything for awhile?

I don't know.....  I was just going to jot down some random thoughts and happenings since I can't seem to get a clear picture as to what I'm supposed to post next.

This past weekend mother's intuition really kicked in for me.  We had our days all planned out with various social activities and I was really looking forward to spending some time with good friends.  Saturday afternoon rolled around and we were at the countdown of about 4 hours until we left our house for the aforementioned social plans when Ethan looked at me, crawled into my lap and said "Mama, I need you".  I felt his forehead and he was burning up.  Took his temp, promptly told Jimm we weren't going anywhere and laid my little boy on the couch with a blanket.  Was I disappointed? Greatly.  Did I consider asking Jimm if I could go by myself and leave him there with the kids? Oh, yes.  He actually sort of offered.  But my little boy needed me and once again, mothering took top priority in my life.  (the fever was luckily a 24 hour thing and we were able to have some fun on Monday!).

I tackled downtown Chicago during the Taste with two kids in tow and actually not only made it out alive, but also managed to have some fun at the same time!  Thankfully I wasn't alone and we had man to man coverage with four kids and four adults!

I'm having a sort of job identity crisis.  This was actually one of my started and stopped posts.  It's kind of hard to explain for those that don't work in the adoption field, so I've got to figure out how to post on something like that. 

I now have an iPhone 4.  Not sure what I did without a smart phone.  Or any type of cell phone.  I felt myself going into panic mode when Jimm told me that I would be without my phone for a few hours when he went to get the new phone during my work day. 

And then I remembered my first cell phone.  One of those big clunkers with the huge battery.  And the antenna.  Heehee.

I remembered how much I like fireworks.  And I loved seeing them through Ethan's eyes.  Reese somehow slept through them.  And I'm not just talking about in her bed at home with the doors closed. I'm talking about when we walked down the street and she was sleeping in her stroller through the loud outside booms with the official fire department display and random neighbor illegal displays.  Yep, slept through it all.

And then I remembered that I don't much like fireworks that continue to go off randomly through the night well past 11:30pm.

I discovered that spray sunblock may look convenient but it doesn't really work that well.  Ooops.

I renewed my love for summer time food: grilled corn on the cob and watermelon.

My trust in the judicial system was once again questioned by a certain verdict that was announced yesterday.

However, I also realize that we do leave huge, life-changing decisions up to 12 random people who may be overwhelmed by big words such as reasonable doubt.

I love Reese's toothy, scrunched- up- nose grin.

Ethan's energy exhausts and thrills me all at the same time.

I love my husband's desire for our home to be clutter-free and his willingness to work tirelessly to get it that way.

I had some really good Oreo cake balls this 4th of July and am looking forward to some red velvet ones this next weekend.

I despise and am freaked out by clowns.

That is all.  Random enough?

Experience Makes a Difference

This past weekend New York made headlines when it passed a state law legalizing gay marriage.  In Chicago, the gay pride parade took place as it has for the past 40+ years.  Facebook lit up with comments both in favor and totally against New York's decision. 

In the past few months I have entered into numerous conversations with friends, colleagues, family and acquaintances about the subject of gay marriage/civil union.  I was not always the one to bring it up.  Sometimes a comment was made by the other party assuming that I felt the same way they did only to get an earful (nothing hostile mind you) from me pointing out another side. 

I have been a social worker working in the field of child welfare/adoption for the past 15 years.  Historically most of the agencies that I worked for were "faith based" and therefore I was never confronted with the issue of working with gay couples who wanted to adopt.  However, the last job that I held and my current job are both non-faith-based organizations.  My current agency is opening up their services to serve gay couples after years of not necessarily denying services but always just serving married heterosexual couples.  When I was interviewed to work at my current agency I was informed of the direction that the agency was going and was asked if I was comfortable with this.  My answer was an absolute yes. 

You see, over the past 15 years my perspective has evolved due to my experiences. 

At my first social service job I worked with several gay individuals.  In fact, one of the men I worked with became a crush of mine until I found out he was gay.  :-)  Well, I don't know if the crush actually ended....I think I just knew it would --obviously--never pan out.  But I came to become really good friends with these men.  And their partners.  They lived real lives, with real partnerships, shared homes with their partners, laughed with them, discussed starting a family together, entertained together, hugged one another, kissed one another, smiled at one another.....just the same as my heterosexual friends. 

I have friends from high school that are gay, I know of a few individuals that I went to church with who are bi-sexual or gay, I have counseled gay-headed families who have adopted, I have counseled gay teenagers who are just wanting to be accepted and loved.

You see, my opinions that I have are based on experiences that I have had and currently have with real people.  *Not saying that those who have also had personal experiences can't have a different opinion*.

Now that I am a mommy I have found myself wondering what would happen or how I would react if, in 15 years, one of my kids sits down with me and tells me that they are gay.   I would hope that my reaction would be one of support, encouragement, unconditional love and comfort. 

And then my mind wanders to how would I feel if my son or daughter was in a committed relationship and they were unable to marry or have the rights that every other couple in the U.S. have because they were gay. It would enrage me, I'm pretty sure.  Because I love my kids more than anything and you better believe that I'm going to fight for them until I am no longer physically or mentally able to.  

So, with all of that said......I have no problem with New York legalizing gay marriage nor Illinois legalizing civil unions.  And I feel that way because of the experiences that I have had with gay people.....who they are, what they want out of life, where they come from, and how they just want to be treated equally. 

Really?

Have you seen the Really? skit on SNL with Amy Poehler and Seth Meyer?

Well, sometimes my life could be that Really? sketch.  I have learned to watch my mouth around my children because as we all know by trial and error our kids repeat everything we say.  Especially when it's a word they've never heard before.  So I have tried to be really cognizant of the words that I use around my children. 

I find myself saying "REALLY?" at the top of my lungs sometimes in the place of other not so practical or kid-friendly terms.  I seem to do this quite a bit in the car. :-)

I'm waiting for the construction zone to end and 2 lanes to turn into the 65 MPH zone and 3 lanes on I-80.  I take off into the left lane and some teenage girl slowly merges into the left lane in front of me and proceeds to go the exact same speed she was going IN the construction zone.  REALLY?

The same girl brakes twice with no one in front of her evidently because she thinks that I am following too closely and decides that it's her mission to slow me down (mind you at this point I am NOT speeding). REALLY?

I'm in the left lane passing a car in the middle lane only to be slowed down by someone with Indiana license plates (sorry my Indiana friends....it happens more often than not).....who just happens to think that the left lane is their own personal lane while they are chatting on their cell phone and they can go 10 MPH slower than the speed limit.  REALLY?  People:  To clarify the left lane is a PASSING lane. If you are not passing the person next to you, you need to slow down and get behind them.  REALLY?

If you can't talk on your cell phone and maintain your speed limit, move to another lane or stop talking on your cell phone. REALLY?

I'm heading down the road going about 45 miles an hour and a car turns from a side street right in front of me and stays in MY lane instead of going into the other lane.  AND there's no one behind me.  REALLY?

I DO use the REALLY? word/expression in other places than the car.  Like the grocery store, gas station, work, facebook.

Speaking of the gas station:  Why is it the one place that there are no clear unwritten rules/guidelines about who should get next dibs on the next available pump when the gas station is full?  The other place is the grocery store...you would THINK it would be the next person in line that would get the next available pump or line that opens?  REALLY people? REALLY?

My point in this whole little rant is that I have done a REALLY good job in watching my words around my kids.  I choose not to swear or degrade others.  Sometimes, I let a word or two slip.  For instance, this morning I was carefully navigating my way through a pretty big puddle only to have a car pull up on the side of me spraying water all over my windshield....I said "thanks a lot jerks". 

And to make my point hit home, what do I hear from the backseat:  "Yeah, jerks"....and snickers from my 4 year old. 

Monster Friends

Oh, to have the imagination of a 4 year old again. 

On the way to summer camp this morning, Ethan and I had the following conversation (I'll try my best to remember it all....):

I just called my mom to ask her to remind me to write a check to my dad this afternoon when we got home.  As soon as I hung up,

Ethan asked: Is Grandpa behind us?

Me: No, honey.  I was just asking Grandma to write me a note so that I could remember to write a check to Grandpa.

Ethan: A check? (insert my thoughts here: Oh, boy.  This is going to be interesting).

Me: Yes, a check for money.

Ethan: What's a check?

Me: It's for money.  Mommy owed Grandpa some money and so I'm going to pay him back.

Ethan:  How do you get the money?

Me: Well, we have a checking account at the bank where our money is kept and when we need money we write checks or we use our debit card. (at this point I'm wondering why I have decided to keep answering these questions).

Ethan: (for the sake of time and space....he basically asked me about money, how do we get money, from having jobs, etc.).

Me: Mommy and daddy both have jobs and we make money that way.

Ethan: Well, I have lots of jobs.

Me: Oh, really.  What do you do?

Ethan: I rescue balls and kids and babies.

Me: Oh, wow.  Do you rescue Reese?

Ethan: Oh, no.  I rescue other babies.  And then I put them in the bank where they will be safe and my monster friends will take care of them.

Me: Oh, your monster friends?  Who are they?

Ethan:  Well, they are kind of scary sometimes but they don't scare you or daddy or Reese. 

Me: Oh, but they scare you?

Ethan: Um, yeah.  But sometimes they are nice.  I have 4 monster friends.  They are Tom, Bloop-Bloop, Jerry and my Tree Friend.  (I'm not making this up people.....).

Me:  Oh.  Are your monster friends a cat and mouse like Tom and Jerry on TV?

Ethan:  Oh, no.  Mom, they are MONSTER friends.  UGGGGHHGHH.  (A loud sigh from the back seat).

Me: Oh, sorry. 

Ethan:  Sometimes my monster friends are good and sometimes they are bad.  Then I get rid of them.  So now I only have one monster friend.....Jerry.  He helps me take care of the babies.

The End. 

Oh, how I love this kid.

Siblings

It's been awhile since I've posted.  I'm not sure exactly why it's taken me so long to post anything new, but here I am again.  Hope you didn't miss me too much :-)

Jimm and I have been talking about putting Reese and Ethan in our master bedroom and us taking the smaller bedroom for quite some time now.  Like months.  But life kept happening and we just didn't have a whole day dedicated to doing it.  Our plan was to ask our parents to watch the kids while we tried to accomplish this task, but once again life happened and neither set of parents could do it. 

So this past Saturday, Jimm and I decided that it was time. 

Of course we could have planned it out better.  For instance, we decided to start moving furniture around just an hour before Reese's normal morning nap.  Bad call on our part.  She was wobbling around the living room like she just drank a bottle of Jack for the first time by 11am.  She fell fast asleep on Jimm and a little while later I had the room somewhat organized so that she could go in her crib. 

I must put this blog in reverse for a moment before delving forward into the story.  Ethan was upstairs helping Jimm move all of his furniture, books, games, toys, etc. into our master bedroom so that everything could be rearranged.  The kid did not. stop. talking. for a 1/2 hour straight.  He was giving a running commentary on everything that they were doing, plus exhibiting an enormous amount of cuteness at the same time.  He kept stating that "it was a good thing he had strong muscles" in order to help Jimm.  He absolutely loved having a part in the process of this new arrangement and was completely excited about it.

So...moving forward.  We were totally caught off guard as to how much crap we had accumulated in our closets.  Especially the kids closet.  It was jam packed full of clothes that they had outgrown.  I thought I had done a better job at staying organized and exchanging sizes with changes of seasons....but obviously I was seriously mistaken. 

I was still organizing stuff and was smelling pretty bad when my friend Andrea knocked on our door at about 5pm or so.  Talk about embarrassing.  We had crap everywhere....the kitchen, the back porch, the living room....sigh.  Luckily she didn't seem to notice how gross I was or what a mess our house was...she just needed to borrow a jacket for her son since the weather had turned colder and they were at a family party just down the street from us.  Jacket found and borrowed....now to finish the task at hand.

I finally got everything mostly organized and changed around by about 6:30pm.  We worked ALL day long at this huge task. 

Now I started feeling anxious about the next step:  That my 10 month old and my 4 year old would actually be sharing a room.  Reese has been sleeping through the night for several months now and Ethan usually sleeps like a champ.  But they have never slept in the same room.  Did we just make a huge mistake?

We had to change Ethan's routine up: so I was expecting resistance and a temper tantrum.  Normally I take Reese up to bed and close her door.  Then Jimm takes Ethan up to brush his teeth, go to the bathroom and then they sing a song and say prayers (about a 1/2 hour after Reese goes down).  So our plan was to put Reese down and then have Ethan sing his song and say his prayers downstairs. 

Do you know that he actually asked to go to bed that night?  He was SO excited about his "new room" and sleeping in the same room as Reese.  He never questioned the change in routine and has completed his new nighttime routine like a champ the past 3 nights.  I think I severely underestimated my boy.

And Reese has never slept better.  They both slept soundly until 7am Sunday morning.

They are really developing a strong bond with one another.  Reese laughs at everything Ethan does...he's a star in his sister's eyes and he knows it.  She wants to try everything that he does.  And just this morning she walked the length of the living room unassisted and he said "I'm so proud of Reese!"....OMG tug at my heart strings and call me a sap.  Love those kids.

Proud, thankful and blessed Mama.

Unexpected Moments

For those of you who know me well, you know that I have uttered the words "I could never be a stay at home mother" more than once before.  I just don't have it in me.

But over the past several days I have realized that I could definitely work part-time.  I have spent more time with my kiddos due to a holiday, my mom not feeling well and my MIL having surgery this week.

It's been awesome.  And my little girl has nailed the nap thing down.  She's finally getting that when I take her upstairs, turn the light out and rock her for a few minutes it's time for a nap.  Even if she's still awake when I put her in the crib.  She gets it. Hallelujah!  Sorry, I digress again (I seem to do that often while blogging....).

I have been able to spend some incredible one on one time with Ethan while Reese is napping. We've played with all of his new games that he got for his birthday....Toy Story Yahtzee, Bingo, 2 playdoh games, Mario Kart and Just Dance for Kids (Wii games).  We've also gone on bike ride/walks and used all of his new bubble machines (3 to be exact). 

I wish that this could be my schedule all the time.  I would love to spend some more time with my kids.  Time in which I'm not rushing around grocery shopping, doing laundry or cleaning the house.  Time in which I don't find myself losing patience with both of them because I have too much to accomplish and can't be bothered by their questions or little hands clinging to my pant legs. 

I was able to treasure each moment with them over the past several days.  And it will continue over the next few days.  I get summer hours on Fridays!  We are closing the office at 1pm now on Fridays through August.  So excited that I get to give my mom a much deserved break on Fridays and that I get to spend some more quality time with my kids. 

Now I just have to figure out how I could do this part time thing.  :-)

Wishful thinking. But maybe in the future, just maybe God will work it out for me.

Treasure each moment with your kids: I'm learning that it all goes way too fast.